allyfreakingface

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    • Name: Allyface
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 8/30/2007

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Thursday, 05 February 2009

  • rawr!

    my belly is getting quite large.
     I'm so excited!!
    I went and bought some baby clothes the other day.
    it was so much fun..
    But I felt bad cause Mattie didn't come with me..
    But I had a day with Salem so that was fun.
    I'm a bit of a sickly lately, nausea, and a head cold.
    but the daddy to my tummy buddy is wonderful and super cute!!!



Sunday, 25 January 2009

  • MUAH

    So freaking anytime I complain or point something out,
    the next day its not that way anymore...
    so it makes me look dumb and naggy.
    More or less I had an amazing day with Mat yesterday.
    Later Corey and Salem came to hang out with us.
    The group was fine.
    Than Salem and I spent hours talking last night and just having fun.
    same with most of today, we all just hung out.
    nothing is like what I was bitching about before..
    I'm just kinda silly.

    anyways..My point?

    My friends pwn noobs cause their bamf!

Saturday, 24 January 2009

  • sailing the seven seas alone

    I've been feeling lonely a lot lately.
    I'm not sure why, I live in a house with four other people.
    I talk and hang out with mat every single day..
    I talk to people on a daily basis, I'm not even sure what my problem is...
    I just feel like anyone I talk to isn't really listening or could careless.
    they just nod or say yea so I don't notice or something..

    I see my sister everyday, but its just when she drops and picks up Chase.
    so things we talk about are usually regarding chase's day.

    Salem and I..well we don't talk really much at all anymore.
    I've lost my best friend to another girl.

    my mum just likes drama so if she can get her fix from me for the day..
    I have her attention until something better comes up.


    yes, I talk to Mattie everyday, and he cares so much about anything I have to say,
    he's just so busy right now.. completely fine! and I wont ever be the type of girl that needs every second of his attention, I just wish I got to see him more so during the week, but his schedule sucks balls.
    so again not his fault...just how things seem to go for me right now.

    I feel like such a selfish person right now.
    I just crave some kind of normal conversation.
    some kind of interaction.
    I get excited to go to the drs and other appt that I have, because I can talk to them.

    but what about people who have no one?
    honestly, it could really be a lot worse.
    but I suppose in every situation someone could say that, right?

    Tomorrow will be exactly seven months since my dad.
    I think that has a lot to do with how I'm feeling right now..
    I've been dwelling on that thought,
    and all of the extra "responsibility's" that come with something like that..
    I don't think I'm stressed...I think I'm more afraid.
    I'm scared of losing all the people that matter to me...

    I'm just a mess right now, I don't even know how to put my feelings into words....










Monday, 19 January 2009

  • boy or girl?

    I have my ultrasound today!
    first pictures of my baby ever!
    I hopefully get to find out it's gender!

    I'm sure I'll edit this and tell you  later...



    edit: So mat and I are having a beautiful baby boy!

    Silas Nevaeh



Tuesday, 13 January 2009

  • Currently
    Texas
    By PlayRadioPlay!
    see related

    But now I'm not so sure.

    I'm so confused...kill me.

    I feel like I've been neglecting this place waaaaay too much.
    HAH. This is me pretending you people care. :]

    It's interesting to see how life throws things at you. It's even more interesting to see how you throw things at yourself without even realizing it.

    I feel exhausted and lonely. My body has been feeling incredibly unpleasant lately and I'm not 100% why or how.
    I think it's a mixture of being pregnant and having a bit of a cold.

    I'm really tired.
    I think I might go ahead and take a nap.
    I hate sleeping so much. It makes me feel like I'm just wasting my day away.
    Same thing with being on the computer, but I do it anyhow, and with no good reason... Blah.


    Well, I guess I'll fill you in with a little. my parents and mats parents met this weekend for the first time..
    it pretty much was horrible and i cried like the whole time.M
    Mattie and I can't get married for a bit because of it.
    and some other shitty agreements or what ever were made.

    My feelings were more or less ripped out and stepped on several times...
    I have almost no respect for mat's dad anymore, even if he's done a lot for mat.
    mat and I disagree much so on that I'm sure.

    I'm just  waiting for a day that's nice all the way through, which is seeming to be less and less possible...

    I feel like anything I do is never good enough.
    people are always annoyed and frustraited with me,
    and I don't even know why.
    I like to talk things out and make things better.
    fix problems or what ever, and I can't even do that...

    I want to be married.
    I want people to stop telling me what to do.
    I want to stop being told to be more responsible
    or that we're young,
    so we don't look more than two weeks in to the future..
    I want to be stood up for.
    I want you to stand up for yourself.
    I want you to see why I'm upset about your dad.
    I don't want your dad to have to  "learn to love me and the baby".
    I want you to tell me how you feel.
    I want to go for more than a day without the fear that I upset you.
    I want my friends here, for the both of us.
    I don't want to cry everyday anymore.
    I don't want to have doubts.
    I don't want you to come to my dr stuff,
    just as much as I do want you come.
    I want you to be happy.
    I want to know all of your thoughts and feelings...

    am I asking for to much?
    I don't even know anymore...







Sunday, 11 January 2009

Thursday, 01 January 2009

  • Currently
    The Boats&Birds EP
    By Gregory & the Hawk
    see related

    if you'd be my star, I'll be your sky

    you can hide underneath me and come out at night.


    so I suppose I failed a bit, yes?
    I haven't written anything in a couple days..oops!
    my life isn't to exciting anyways so it didn't matter much.
    My boys home though!
    I was so freaking excited to see him.
    he was coming home at like nine something..kinda early for me lol.
    so, I waited till he called and I went up to his house for a bit.
    super exciting so far, yes?
    anyways, I love his mum I talked to her for quite a bit,
    while he was busy showering and making him self all cute for me.
    Um, we pretty much had the best kisses ever yesterday.
    I had little butterflies the whole time.
    it was super cute, i think being apart really showed both of us how much the other means to us,
    and that we truly are "in love'.
    Not that I doubted it...
    I just wanted to be like 837946895 times sure.
    So anyways, were going to get married the middle of January sometime.
    I'm so excited!
    pretty much everything is perfect right now.
    I had a Dr appt today. Just a quick follow up.
    made sure I wasn't having twins.
    thank goodness we're not.
    I have three sets of twins on my mums side.
    so chances were kinda high.
    but everything is fine.
    We find out what were having jan 19th,
    only a couple weeks away!
    can't wait to see my little tummy buddy.

    O happy new year btw.
    Mattie surprised me with new years kisses.
    it was kinda fantastic.
    just kinda realizing how he'll always be my new years kiss.

    I'm not making a resolution, because well...
    1. no one keeps them.
    2. its completely stupid.
    3. makes you look completely stupid cause you didn't keep it.
    4. because if you really wanted to stop or start doing something, you'd just do it.

    well I'm gonna go to bed now.
    I'm quite tired.
    Nighty nighty Dollies.













Saturday, 27 December 2008

  • Currently
    Honeysuckle Weeks
    By The Submarines
    see related

    I want to just hold you.

    I'm 16 weeks today.
    only 5 months to go!

    I finally got some sleep last night.
    the past week had been so terrible, I wasn't sleeping and I have had heartburn everyday.
    Yesterday I ate a salad... Apparently it  wasn't what I'd been hoping for.
    so I was privileged enough to see it again this morning, how exciting?
    I haven't been sick in a  while.

    I hung out with my mother in law yesterday.
    just talked about a few things and what not.
    I thought it would be really awkward, But it didn't bother me like at all.
    So that's good I suppose.
    I'm sure it will make mat happy.
    I really am gonna post pictures soon.

    bye bye deary's





Thursday, 25 December 2008

  • Currently
    Where Myth Fades to Legend
    By Alesana
    see related

    This is usually the part where people scream

    Christmas eve was completely chaotic.
    Not even because it was Christmas eve...
    My mum and I just fought and screamed at each other a lot.
    So she and my step dad left and I was here all by myself.
    which was fine cause I don't like this shitty holiday anyway.
    But I'm just kinda depressed right now, and mat and Salem are both gone.
    I really miss mat....
    I've pretty much have been crying a lot.
    I don't even want to be like that, I'm just really over whelmed.
    But I am so famished!
    so I kinda can't wait for supper.
    Jared and I are gonna go shopping this weekend.
    that should be pretty fun.
    He and I never just hangout, so I'm actually a little excited about it.
    hopefully  I find some of the things I'll be looking for.
    I kinda don't much these days.
    anyways, merry Christmas or something like that









Wednesday, 24 December 2008

  • Currently
    Texas
    By PlayRadioPlay!
    see related

    I dont want to be lost in the ocean

    I went and saw my friend char today.
    I finally got to see her gorgeous new baby jace.
    It was so much fun to hold a new born and hang out with her.
    I use to go to her house all the time.
    Spending time with her made me realize how much I miss her.
    I'm going to make it a point to visit her once a week.
    I really would love for her to be a huge part in my baby's life.
    I'm going to go over there again tomorrow to help her wrap presents..
    Even though I hate Christmas..
    Its kinda been our thing for the last four years..
    It's just kinda one of those days to talk to old friends I suppose...




Tuesday, 23 December 2008

  • Currently
    On Frail Wings of Vanity and Wax
    By Alesana
    see related

    now I have the freshest cereal

    hmm, I think I had a fairly good day.
    I felt pretty good and I sewed a baby blanket today...
    Idk if I'll use it since its defiantly for a girl.
    But it was productive.
    I believe I will be sewing a lot these days, which will be good..
    I use to all the time, so it will be nice to get back into that habit.
    My mum and I went to one of her friends house to bake cookies for the evening.
    that was until I started to feel rather sleepy and now I have a headache.
    I kinda wish Salem was hear to keep me company again tonight.
    But I suppose I would wish more so for mat to be, yes?
    Oo, it was quite amusing tonight my mums friend was talking about the key to a good marriage.
    she said I should like who ever I'm going to marry more than love cause I have to like them to get along with them or something along those lines. I just thought it was funny...
    But I'm not sure why now.
    anyhoo, I'll be posting pictuers up soon hopefuly,
    I want to keep track of my belly.

    well Im a sleepy tiger now.
    nighty night dollies.




Sunday, 21 December 2008

  • some more ramblings about my little friend

    oms, I am freezing!
    I decided I'm completely over the snow and cold weather.
    I'm so ready for spring...
    except not really, I still have so much baby stuff I need to do before than.
    I haven't really gotten anything because I felt like it was to early.
    But now...I think it would be good to start.
    A lot of what I "need' my sister has, and she said I could borrow it.
    which is completely awesome. But some of it I would rather own...
    this isn't the only baby I want, and I know my sister wants more...
    so idk, I want to know what I'm having first.
    I have been looking up baby bedding, and  I have found some really cute ones.
    It makes me super excited!
    I honestly can't wait to show Mattie.
    It's funny cause a lot of guys could care less.
    But I know it'll make him a little excited too,
    I want to make sure he has a little input on ever little thing.
    Gah I'm so tired today, and I feel half ill.
    maybe I should get to bed half early tonight.
    I'm sure that would help a bit, yes?

    so I suppose I'm gonna go get ready for bed and relax a bit.
    goodnight lovlies.


  • Currently
    This Is a Stick Up... Don't Make It a Murder
    By Hit the Lights
    see related

    a friken dinosaur

    well today matty left.
    he called me at seven am waking me to tell me goodbye.
    then he told me to get on messenger so that i could talk to him for a it more...
    but our internet wasn't working at all!
    I was so pissed and sad completely frustrated...
    thus I cried myself to sleep.
    heh, lame I know.
    so I'm already on the third disk of nip tuck...
    I guess it wont last the whole ten days yes?
    my day was pretty uneventful I did go to a Christmas poker party with my parents..
    kinda boring for me,
    there was quite a bit of booze so yea..
    I'm just super tired.
    i got really car sick on the way home.
    so i think Im gonna go to bed and watch nip talk and probably sleep.


    sorry this post is kinda random and boring.
    nighty night darlings!




Saturday, 20 December 2008

  • Currently
    In Defense of the Genre
    By Say Anything
    see related

    grumble grumble

    Grr,
    so mat's leaving in the morning..
    kinda queer,
    But I think it will almost be good for us...
    at least I'm going to make my self feel that way.
    I 'm going to try really hard not to get depressed about it.
    It almost makes me feel guilty, cause of my tummy buddy...
    I guess I don't really know how to explain what I mean..hehe^^
    Anyhoo, I feel so unorganized and forgetful about everything.
    I'm never really like that.
    I like to have everything planned and worked out,
    organized and simple...
    But I just forget everything.
    Everyone says its cause of the pregnancy...
    But it makes me Feel like a horrible parent.
    kinda silly I'm sure.
    Oo, awesome exciting news though!
    I felt the baby today!!
    I was afraid that I would while matty was gone.
    that would pretty much make him uber sad.
    I kinda feel like God let me so that I wouldn't be too upset about mat,
    and that it would let him leave knowing that or something..
    give him something to look forward to?
    well I'm pretty much going to miss him like crazy!
    and I can't wait to kiss him as soon as I see him again!
    But I'll watch all of nip tuck season four while he's gone..
    it will give me something to do,
    since I pretty much do everything with him...
    I'll have nothing better to do haha.

    so I think I'm off to bed now dollies..
    thank you and goodnight.